quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
