the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I could fuck to npr.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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