Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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