She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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