found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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