before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
