do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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