After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
