You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
