they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Text me some of your sweat
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
