well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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