Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
