apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
