All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need a beard to bite.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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