i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
