in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
