I feel great
I just peed on a car
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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