shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
