mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
