I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
