What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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