I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
