Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
