You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My dick has a subreddit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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