You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
