I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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