Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
