just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
