I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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