i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
