Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
