He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
