U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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