ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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