so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
