Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
