Your mouth is God's brothel.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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