Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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