Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
