We're like a lot better than the average bears
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
