I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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