His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
