i can't believe i had my finger in that
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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