i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
