I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
