I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
