oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
