so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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