I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
