It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
